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Cascadian Sites and Stories
Vancouver 2108
(excerpts from Dance of Knives - Donna McMahon)
NORTH AMERICA'S GREAT APE: the SASQUATCH
A wildlife biologist looks at the continent's most misunderstood large mammal
and when you are not busy with official Militia duty-Cascadia Con wants you to volunteer. It's easy just e-mail Volunteers
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Earthlings! Ugly Bags of Mostly Water
Cascadia Con is happy to be able to present this movie
 Image by Frank Wu
EARTHLINGS: UGLY BAGS OF MOSTLY WATER
ABOUT THE TITLE: Klingons describe Earthlings as "ugly bags of mostly water" in Star Trek: The Next Generation
PRODUCTION: Directed by Alexandre O. Philippe. English and Klingon with English subtitles. Distributed by Shoreline Entertainment (earthlings-movie.com). (USA; 2005; not rated but contains adult languages)
Director: Alexandre O. Philippe
Producer: Steve Williams
Executive Producer: David Marchiori
Running Time: 70 minutes
Produced on: Digital Video
Product Category: Comical Documentary, defined as a Picture Show
SYNOPSIS
On August 1, 2003, 33 people met at a Philadelphia hotel to celebrate and speak a language from
Outer Space. The comical documentary, Earthlings: Ugly Bags of Mostly Water, captures the
life, passions and quirks of the members of the Klingon Language Institute. Interviews of KLI
members (Linguists, Psychologists, Star Trek fans and steadfast individualists), reveal the
intellectual, fraternal, liberating and no-nonsense, direct qualities they enjoy within the
constructed-from-pop-culture Klingon language. From Louise Witty, who becomes fascinated
with the language from her interest in Star Trek boots (and then fabricates and sells them) to a
Paintball King who shouts strategic, military movements in the Klingon tongue, Earthlings
examines the interplay between culture and language, communication and emotion, and the
rather delicate line between reality and fiction.
Produced within a visually interesting and texture-filled, Sci-Fi style setting, Earthlings might be
categorized as a Picture Show, a highly-stylized subjective documentary that emphasizes specific
narrative strands and takes liberty with the tone, pacing and composition for comic effect.
This is
not a Trekkies (1994) imitator, but instead an entertaining view of an intellectual (and not-sointellectual)
endeavor to sort out and to explore humans and language, and the definitions of
success and failure.
In 1979, Paramount Pictures hired Linguist Marc Okrand to develop the Klingon language as
realistic dialogue for its first feature-length Star Trek film. He was later asked to expand the
language for Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984). He continues to add to the Klingon
vocabulary today.
MEET SOME EARTHLINGS:
Dr. Lawrence Schoen
Director of the Klingon Language Institute (www.kli.org). Lawrence Schoen, 45, holds a
doctorate in cognitive psychology, specializing in memory and language. He works at Wedge
Medical Center in Philadelphia, Pa., and also authors science fiction novels.
Dr. d’Armond Speers
Denver-based Speers, a self-employed consultant with a doctorate in Linguistics, spoke only
Klingon to his son, Alexander, from before birth to age 3 ½. When d’Armond asked a pre-verbal
Alexander (in Klingon) where his bottle was, his son crawled toward it. Dr. Speers considers
this, “a very proud moment.”
Rich “Captain Krankor” Yampell
Currently living in Stoughton, Mass., Captain Krankor has composed two of the primary songs
sung at various gatherings, “taHaj wo,” the official Klingon national anthem (“Long Live the
Empire”) and “Iv maH,” (Who Are We?”), an additional ditty about Klingon identity. Mr.
Yampell appears in Klingon garb throughout the film. Although generally employed as a
computer programmer, he calls his Klingon anthem, “My big hit song.” His favorite Klingon
word is “awje.” It is the term used for the beverage root beer and is derived from the Klingon
letters for A&W.
Michael J. Oetting
Plagued by a pronounced lisp, Michael J. Oettting, a postal worker from New Holland, Pa.,
attends the 2003 qep’a’ to pass a language facility exam. “It’s about acceptance,” he says, “If I
pass the test, it’s official - - I am one of them.”
WHY SPEAK KLINGON?
One Earthling interview subject says it best, “Why not?”
The study of any new language reveals the implications and meanings of all languages. It
reveals characteristics of culture, society, history/origins, and technology. Moreover, it is a form
of play.
FILM CREDITS
Director
Alexandre O. Philippe
Producer
Steve Williams
Executive Producer
David Marchiori
Production Companies
Mostly Water Productions
SONEW Productions
Director of Photography
Jeff Pointer
Editor
Dave Lenk
Story and Story Editing
Alexandre O. Philippe
Clay Fong
Videography
Jeff Pointer
Young B. Kim
Associate Producers
Carie Grant
Young B. Kim
Joey Porcelli
Francoise Philippe
Original Music
Hypnogaja
Additional Music
Mitch Pond
Rich 'Captain Krankor' Yampell
Didier Hagger & Lise Settimo
Alpha Wave
Website Development
Daniel Clawson
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